Back to Myself

Wow, I am really sorry I took like a month long hiatus. It wasn't because I wanted to....it was because I was doing good to make it to work and home with out passing out. I love being pregnant now, it was hard in the beginning. A sickness I will NEVER forget. Thank you for all being so loyal and hanging around, Oh how I have miss all of you.
It amazes me more and more when I have never met some of you in real life yet you are all so thoughtful. I get phone calls, emails, text messages and the cards. You see you learn you your friends are in times like that. When you feel like you just don't think you can make it much more and you get a text or call saying, Hey, I was just thinking of you, hope your feeling better or when you come home and check the mail and there are cards awaiting. Just a little note to let you know that you are being thought of. Thank you again. It just amazes me at the kindness you receive from "almost" total strangers. I consider you all very special friends. Thank you for thinking of me.....
Now to lighten the mood...Wow, I have my life back so it seems. I feel better and have a little more energy, Thank you Jesus! I am going to be 15 weeks on Friday. I hope to find out what we are having Friday afternoon ( 2 attempt =) ).
Just out of curiosity what do you guys think Boy or Girl? =).

I am back and myself again and I am here to read all of you blogs- Love you Ladies!!
Bre

I Am Back With So Much To Talk About

First off, the hubby and I are finally in the house. Though everything isn't exactly where it should be I am working on it. It's such a cute house and we are so in love with it. I am not in love with the huge yard that will soon have to be cut(in this sweltering heat and 80% humidity). I am going to start posting pictures. We plan on doing a few things so I will do some before and after pics. I am going to need input from all of you. I know you all have great taste and can help.

Secondly, I am happy and excited to announce that I am pregnant! I found out on June 3rd. As of today I am 8 weeks pregnant and feeling it. The nausea has been around for a while and it's rough, but I know that it is all for a good reason. The hubby and I couldn't be more excited! Everyone is asking,"Do you want a boy or girl?". I just want a healthy baby, but if I am asked to specify what gender I am hoping for a little girl( and of course the hubby would love a little boy). But as I said all I pray is that all goes well and that its a healthy little baby ! Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, emails and prayers our way! We are forever thankful!

Love, B

When It Seems To Be Too Good........It Usually Is.

I sit down to write this post and I am at lost for words, not sure how or where to begin. I was on cloud nine this week from the wonderful news that I got on Tuesday. That is until yesterday morning when I awoke feeling like hell. (Sorry, but this post is about to get personal). I had started my cycle.
Each month I take a hormone to make me have a period and then this month it just happens by itself and at the wrong damn time. I guess holding on to the hope that just maybe I might be pregnant was then shattered.
Tomorrow I will start the fertility medicine again for the 3rd time. I HATE that stuff and it is the absolute worst feeling ever.
So here is to another month and another try. My hope is fading and it's so hard to stay positive. I am just going to put a smile on my face and focus on the new house and try to keep my mind off of it. It does no good to sit and worry it just makes my dream seem like it's just so far away.

What's Really Been Going On..

Ok, I have started and stopped this post like 3 times. I haven't been completely open, only because I didn't know if I should put it all into one blog. I have decided that one blog is enough. I feel that if people want to be friends and follow my blog they should know what's going on in my life. That was the purpose of the blog , to express myself and also a way for me to vent. I have met some really special people here in the blogging world who mean so very much to me. I get emails, text messages and sweet little letters from a few of my blogger friends and I have truly enjoyed it.

So I am going to share a little piece of my life with you all. If you don't want to read that's fine. If you do not have the time to read that is fine too, but I feel like my blog is therapy and its a relief for me so I am going to share.

The hubby and I have been together for almost 6 years and have been married for 2 years. A year and half ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease (Hashimoto's disease, also known as chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, your immune system attacks your thyroid gland. The resulting inflammation often leads to an under active thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). I will now take a pill every morning for the rest of my life to replace the hormones that my thyroid doesn't produce. I have never been the one to have to take medications, so it was a very hard thing for me to accept. I am fine with it now. It doesn't cause me any pain, just some annoying problems. This issue causes infertility. So for 2 years now we have tried on our own with no luck. So we decided to start fertility medications. It's not been fun, not at all. I never knew that trying to have a baby could be so hard? I started the Clomid again this month and have an empty feeling. I don't feel pregnant, although what does it feel like to be pregnant? This medicine has been hell. I am not sure of any other way to put it. I am so surprised that my sweet husband has not had divorce papers stuck on the refrigerator waiting for me when I get home. The mood swings are BAD, I am nauseated 24/7 and I feel like my hips have been crushed. I am not asking for sympathy. I am just being real.

I am trying to be optimistic, but that is so very hard to do when you feel bad. I get up and just pray that I will make it through the day so I can come home and just lay down. I sit here and think I am just in the beginning of all of this. I have seen what women like Summer at B is for Brown have gone through and I am amazed. She has been such a trooper. She has been an inspiration to me, told me what to expect and has given me hope when I know that sometimes she has lost it. I just pray each night that God with give me the strength to go through this. I would say I am a pretty strong person and I am the one you always see with a smile on my face, but lately that smile hasn't been there. I don't say much about "possibly" being pregnant around the hubby, only because I do not want him to get his hopes up. I do not know how he has managed to deal with me and the lovely hormones, but he deserves an award. Its bad when you can't stand to be around yourself, much less him having to put up with it...

I go to see my Endocrinologist ( Thyroid MD) on Friday and Saturday morning I go to my Ob/Gyn and have my levels drawn to see if I ovulated this month on the fertility drug. If in fact I did ,I am told that between 10-14 days I can test to see if I am pregnant. I am going to take it one day at a time. So if I miss a day or two posting you'll understand.

Thank you all for the sweet cards, text and emails it means so very much to me! I love you all!

breanna